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Keywords:

• 01. i fell asleep on the bus

Comment: and woke up in italian las vegas.

Keywords:

• 02. so your mugshot picture is behind

Comment: the counter at Lux's with the caption "not allowed on premesis"

Keywords:

• 03. no need to be a stranger

Comment: even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage

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• 04. and on a completely unrelated note

Comment: i know where we can steal a dog

Keywords:

• 05. i swear you were born

Comment: with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other

Keywords:

• 06. the difference between you and me

Comment: last night was that i didn't remember getting in a cab and you didn't know we were in one

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• 07. well i suppose if i had to pick

Comment: a dick to represent to the pronteran republic, yours would be it

Keywords:

• 08. we can be functional adults

Comment: and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

Keywords:

• 09. you know im dangerous

Comment: when i have makeout withdrawals

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• 10. serious question: should i volunteer

Comment: to get tazered? my instincts say no but my wild side says yes

Keywords:

• 11. it wouldn't be new year's eve

Comment: if we knew where we would be at midnight

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• 12. i ate one of your animal crackers.

Comment: just one. ok 4. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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• 13. and i wasn't CONVICTED of a felony

Comment: i just committed one

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• 14. because you failed to stop

Comment: the wedding, now i have to be a homewrecker

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• 15. we won't have time to talk

Comment: i'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked